I’ve been feeling pretty darn good lately. The insomnia is still a little bit of an annoyance, but more often than not I’m able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour…no more binge watching in the middle of the night, thank god. I’m almost afraid to say it, but I’m tolerating the aromasin really well. It’s a tiny little pill and the impact on my body, on my system, so far seems to correlate to that. I can’t claim any one thing that is unbearable. By contrast, the tamoxifen was pretty much unbearable from the second or third day: the rash, the hot flashes, the mood swings. It wasn’t fun and I’m so relieved that drug is out of my system now.
So, as far as my longterm therapy goes, the only real question is how long I will need to take the lupron shots to suppress my ovaries. I have a call in to the gynecologist to see what she’s figured out based on some of my early blood work and conversations with my oncologist. But as I said in my last post, it doesn’t look like having surgery to remove my ovaries is a smart plan for me. I’m happy to let go of any surgery talk, but at the same time, I don’t really know if there is a downside to staying on the lupron for a year or two or three…
On Tuesday, I have what I hope will be my final surgery. Maybe I should be calling it a “procedure”? I met with my plastic surgeon on Wednesday and we talked about all the small adjustments he’s planning to make and how he will sculpt my new nipples out of the skin grafts that are where my nipples used to be. I really love him. Whenever I’m with him, he makes me feel like the only thing he cares about is making me feel good about my post-cancer body. It’s kind of amazing. I’ve been so on the fence about this procedure, but as I sat in the exam room discussing my options with him, I realized I am ready to let go of my scars. I really do want to have fully formed breasts, nipples and all, and I’m no longer worried or afraid or even reluctant to move forward.
So as much as I was dreading coming home from LA and spending the month of August dealing with doctors and new drugs and another surgery, things have worked out beautifully. I feel good about where I am and my plan for moving forward. And I am forever grateful that I have such good doctors on my side, and the love and support of my amazing family and friends.