We drove back to LA from the Central Coast on Monday, and I feel like I’ve been driving ever since. How do you people do it? I think if I lived in LA, I wouldn’t go anywhere. It’s just too much. All this traffic, all these people. New York seems so easy by comparison.
We have just one more day with James and then the boy and I are on our own for a few weeks. I’m looking forward to relaxing and staying close to home, the boy is looking forward to swap meets and car shows and, of course, just about anything that involves more driving.
I feel grateful, happy to be here, despite the traffic jams. This is exactly what I need right now. In some ways I think I’ve turned another corner. Emotionally I’m in a better place than I’ve been in the last two months, though a little of that may be magical thinking or denial or simply the fact that I am 3,000 miles away from my next doctor’s appointment. It’s kind of hard to worry about something that I feel so removed from. I’m here, but I left all thoughts of treatment behind. This is my cancer-free zone. And I like it.
I’m a little sad our days are slipping away. I keep telling myself that next summer we will make up for lost time, take an extra week or two, extend our stay and really do it up right. But I don’t know. If life has taught me anything, it’s that there are no guarantees. Who knows what next summer will bring? I’m shutting down that voice in my head, the one that worries about how little time we have left, and trying to embrace the present.
Tonight my brother and I hung out at Starbucks while my husband and son walked circles around the car show at Bob’s Big Boy. We ran into my brother-in-law, and an old friend drove out from Highland Park just to say hi.
It was a perfect LA night. Clear skies, a cool breeze, and cars.