I got breast cancer for Christmas

The last call you think about getting at 2:45 on a Friday afternoon in December is the call from the radiology lab with your biopsy results. And though the doctor is very kind and soft spoken, willing to stay on the phone for as long as you need her, you can’t think of more than a couple questions to ask, so you hang up, in shock, stunned, unable to do anything other than pick your kid up from school like you do every other afternoon.

And then the weekend looms — 48 hours between you and the answers to the questions that roll over you now like a dark cloud. Dr. Google is a mistake. Tempting, but a mistake. Every cancer is different.

It doesn’t take long for anger to set in. You are ready to fight, to beat this thing down and get on with your beautiful life. But it’s already a tangle of words that you never thought would belong to you and insurance approvals and referrals and first available appointments. And so there’s little to do in the next 48 hours except keep moving, like you always do. Laundry, dusting, planning that dinner party you are hosting next Saturday.

Just keep moving.

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9 thoughts on “I got breast cancer for Christmas

  1. Some of the questions will get answers and we’ll meet all the fears and uncertainties with love upon love. Holding some of the sadness and anger with you and here for whatever life brings next.

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  2. I know, you know I am always here for you. We’ve been friends since we were 15, I guess you could say I’m here for the long run, for whatever, whenever you need me. Know in your heart you have a great support system, and you will be just fine!! I know that in my heart. Love you!

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  3. I’ve been thinking of you lately and then Heather sent me this; I was/am stunned. Please know that I am keeping you (and your family!) in my thoughts, heart, and prayers.

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  4. oh my, kristen. that fucking sucks. i am sending you loads of love and support and holding a vision of what james said above–that you will be soon standing in the place where the clouds part and reveal the calm of your vibrant health, of your sure strength, and of light.

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  5. Read your whole journal. You are one strong woman and you rock! I am so glad that you have a positive attitude and a ton of support, from near and far. This is what will get you through this.

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  6. Pingback: There’s no TGIF in Friday afternoon | shadows & light

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